Day 5

I didn't sleep well and woke up early. I'm not a good waiter.  The nurse usually calls about 9:30a, so once I got to work I tried to concentrate but had a really hard time because I kept glancing at my phone, stomach churning

Right at 9:30a the call came and it was not good news. The embryos have not really changed much since day 3. Today if they were growing properly they should be blastocytes with hundreds of cells and they are still in the cleaved embryos' with only a few cells.  I talked to my doctor and he confirmed what I thought that things are looking pretty grim at this stage.    I asked him if he ever transferred embryos that had not made it to the blastocyst stage and he said yes but they have to be growing.  So right now I am trying so hard to hang on to my very fragile hopes upon at least one of these growing in the next 18 hours.  The doctors said he would call me around 9 or 9:30 in the morning with the news.

 I'm a person who hangs on to hope when all seems lost but this past year as beat me down, I'm feeling very fragile and despondent.